What is the definition of swinging?

Simply put, swinging is considered a recreational activity strictly for adult enjoyment.In the lifestyle the most common method is the male and female adult couple. They meet other couples for an encounter. There are times that ongoing relationships of an intimate nature occur. Encounters can occur several ways including a couple-to-couple encounter, a 3rd person in a threesome, a swing party or a liaison.

"Swinging is an engagement in sexual activity with someone other than one's spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person."

Most commonly swinging is referred to as "the scene" or "the lifestyle".It is able take a variety of forms. Clubs can be "off premises" or "on premises". The names are derived from the type of swinging found at the club. "On premises" are those that individuals and couples actually interact sexually at the event while "off premises" refers to events that are held to arrange a later encounter and a home or hotel room.

Most clubs welcome single women and bi-sexual women. Bi-sexual and single men tend to be a lesser extent.

Swinging and it's social aspects

Since the recorded time began swinging has been in existence. Social standings have been different throughout time regarding the lifestyle. It became very popular during the 60s and 70s when swinging was the "in thing" to do. Rules are not set in stone with few to follow. They are more then just a general understanding for those in the lifestyle. In fact, they could be considered more under the term swinging etiquette.Be sure to check the section titled etiquette for a full guide.

The impact of swinging on a relationship/marriage

Can swinging break down a relationship or marriage? Most commonly the answer to this question is no, it can't.But, if the relationship is already trouble or on thin ice, swinging could be the straw that broke the camels back. Swinging is for those couples with a strong relationship and bond. It is a way to experiment, not a way to fix a failing relationship or marriage.

Is Swinging Always Just Sex?

The majority of swinging relationships involve sex, but that is not all it is about. The lifestyle is about belonging and building an atmosphere of warmth. Whether you are meeting with only another couple, participating in a party or with another person for a threesome, drinking, eating and chatting will be involved. One must make an effort to get acquainted with the person they will be engaging with sexually.

Etiquette in Swinging

Arrive and also leave as a couple
It is always important to not only arrive as a couple, but be sure to leave as a couple as well. The others in the group won't view it favourably if one member leaves early while the other stays to enjoy the event or meeting.

A timely arrival
There is no such thing as fashionably late when arriving at a swinging party or event. First, the night has already begun and you may make other partygoers feel awkward when you walk into the room late. In addition, it will make it harder for you to fit in. Perhaps you cannot avoid being late, such as traffic problems. At that time you need to give a ring and let your host or hostess know what is going on. At this time they can update you on the night so far so you will know what to expect when you arrive.

Always be courteous
One thing the swinging lifestyle is full of is uncertainties and insecurities. You can ease this by being courteous with all you come in contact with. When you treat people the way you would like to be treated it will be much easier. Treat others sensitively, understandingly and thoughtfully.

Always be friendly
Friendliness is one of the keys to the lifestyle. Always, no matter what, be friendly with every one you meet. If after meeting or later into the relationship you feel you do not want to take it any farther friendliness may show you other qualities. Perhaps you will find things in common or they may know people who would interest you.

Invitation response
When you receive an invitation be sure to respond, even if you plan not to attend.The host will find it annoying when he/she is holding a party and does not know how many to expect.Reply to them via letter or phone call thanking for the invitation and telling the host if you will be attending.

Always bring something
Before the event contact the host and see if there is anything you can bring with you. It is always important to arrive at the party with a gift for the hosts.

Be prepared

Good Grooming and Comfortable Clothing
As the evening progresses you will find a nice negligee or robe comfortable. Be sure to keep valuables such as jewellery and money at a minimum. If by chance you would lose them it could be an embarrassment to not only you, but also the hosts.

Your hygiene and health
The main thing you do not want to accomplish is turning potential partners off with body odour or bad breath. Be sure you have a shower before leaving and freshen up when you arrive.

Only do what you find fun
The whole idea of the lifestyle is to enjoy yourself. Do not feel pressured to do anything. Only be with those you want, do not feel pressured to be with anyone you don't want to be with and remember you can always say no.

The how and why's of no
In swinging the most important and basis etiquette is having the right to say no. All that is needed is a polite and simple "No, thank you". There is no need to explain yourself. If you do, you may cause hurt feeling and problems. Never be afraid to simply say no, the right is there for everyone. If you do end up doing something you don't want embarrassment and ill feelings could become a problem.

Why not to be pushy
If you find someone you would like to have a swinging encounter with let them know. Do this is an inviting and nice way. If the answer is no, that is their right. When you hear no do not be pushy with asking why, that could be hurtful or embarrassing. Also, don't continue flirting with them or trying to use sweet talk, this is more harmful than good.

Alcohol
At a party most party goers like to enjoy a few drinks. Drinking this way, socially, is fine and provides a social platform in getting to know others. In addition, a few drinks can help one relax. Overindulgence, however is not acceptable. Your mental and physical performance can be hindered and many people find it a turn off. If to participate in swinging you need to drink heavily, this is not the lifestyle choice for you.

Practice safer sex
Protection of you and your partner is of upmost importance and up to you. Using a condom does not say you're dirty and should no offend any other participants. Simply it says that you are concerned about the protection of those involved. Not using a condom is irresponsible and selfish. However, if those participating at the party wish not to use condoms it will be your discretion.

Fully inform when bringing a guest
Obviously you should never take another to a party when that person does not know what will be occurring. It will most likely cause problems and be an embarrassment for all involved.

"Ticket" and a swinger's party
When you bring a guest to the party just to get you in, but they have no intention of swinging it is know as a "ticket". Your guest doesn't have to swing, but it is normally expected that if one is swinging the other will also.

Group swinging is for the group room
Group swinging occurs in the group room, as the name implies. If you are looking for a private encounter with your partner but enter the group room expect to be approached by others asking to join. Obviously, if you are not interested you have the right to say no.

Disturbing the swinging enjoyment of others
While in the group room or bedroom be sure not to disturb other participants swinging with talk that is prolonged. Not only is this very annoying, but is also mood-destroying for those involved.

When a party is "BYOB", drink only what you bring
BYO parties, also known as bring your own booze or BYOB are often held. When attending drink only what you bring with you, unless permission to enjoy a drink is granted by others.

Don't cruise bedrooms
Don't peel back curtains, walk into bedrooms or turn on lights. Everyone understands when it happens accidentally and it is not a problem. However, if you are known for behaviour like this, future invitations may become less frequent.

Enjoying one's self
Probably the most important thing to remember is enjoys yourself. Have a positive attitude, keep an open mind at all times and act out your fantasies.

Keep the hosts informed
If someone is not accepting no as an answer, are showing abusive behaviour or are causing problems be sure to let your host know. It is their party and they want everyone to enjoy himself or herself, so they will want to help.

Saying Thank You
Always write or call to tell the hosts thanks. This will help inform the hosts that it was a good party and help you with being invited again.

New couple suggestions

• Don't seem clingy, stay together for as long as you need to without holding onto one another too much. This makes it more difficult for other couples attending to approach you.
• As time progresses at the party general "disrobing" may occur. Go only as far as you find comfortable and as far as you want to. Remember others will accept you even if you decide to remain fully clothed. It is recommended that those attending try to include themselves as much as they find possible. For example, you can change into something that reveals more. This will make you feel involved and others will include you.
• Honesty about your emotions is key and you should always be honest with each other. Whether you have uncomfortable feelings or are experiencing feelings of jealous, you should always tell your partner. These feelings will show their face later and it can be much more damaging and awkward to discuss at a later date.
• Always feel comfortable with asking questions of other guests or the hosts. Swingers in general are there to meet new people and can help explain the lifestyle.
• When there is a hot tub or spa available for use try to use it. Try using it in the nude while being close to the others with a valid reason. This will assist you in making new friends.
• Try leaving your inhibitions at home, both social and sexual. Inhibitions can interfere when swinging pleasure is being enjoyed. If you are not prepared or able to put much into a party you can't expect to get much out of it.
• Be sure to be good natured and friendly, don't pretend you're someone else. Everybody loves the positive effect of a warm smile.

Sexual Activities

Many sexual activities are involved with swinging. While some will be common at most parties you attend, others are a specialty that is more to cater to a particular fetish.

Bisexuality
When people of the same gender interact it is known as bisexuality. Not every woman indulges in this particular act. However, it is more common for women to interact with each other than men. In fact, bisexuality among men is extremely rare in swinging communities. If not organized prior, it is usually frowned upon and is usually secluded to on particular area.

Couple to couple
This is not only the most popular, but considered the heart and soul of the lifestyle. It begins with one couple pairing with another. After the initial exchange of partners the couples then continue with sexual activity near each other. For example, they may be in the same bed or room. At some point there will probably be interaction that would be considered group sex or a foursome.

Extreme culture
This includes acts such as bondage, spanking, water sports (urination) and sado/masochism. Most of these acts are very uncommon to find at swingers parties. However, hosts may choose one as a theme for the night. You will be notified of that well before the date of the party.

Groups (Orgies)
This type of encounter is defined as 4 or more people interacting sexually. This most commonly involves two couples. However, it can also be four or more people of any sex.

Threesomes
Most common for couples just starting out in the swinging lifestyle is threesomes. Couples are known to carry on with threesomes even if they have fully integrated into the lifestyle. In a threesome two people will interact with the other or all three may interact.

Voyeurism
Voyeurism is defined by watching others perform sexual acts. Normally this is welcome within the group area. But, in the private areas it is not accepted. Keep in mind it is most polite to always ask if those involved mind you viewing.

What can I get out of the swinging lifestyle?

Swinging can be exciting, as fulfilling as you wish and erotic. The lifestyle is a way to safely explore favourite fantasies. In one evening you and your partner can begin by engaging in a private intimate encounter. Within the rest of the evening you could enjoy with another couple, share someone in a threesome or engage in group swinging. Not only can you meet interesting people, but make new friends as well. In addition, it can enhance your relationship and personal life by presenting a positive feeling about your partner and yourself. However, swinging is not a lifestyle for everyone. Factors such as self-esteem, relationship problems, and jealousy need to be discussed before entering into the swinging lifestyle. If any of these are major concerns in your relationship then you are more than likely not ready for the swinging lifestyle, not even to enjoy the benefits associated. You must always remember swinging is not to repair or rebuild a relationship, it is to enhance it.